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God Knows

faith motherhood raw mom life working mom Nov 19, 2022

The past 2 years have been such a weird time in my life. I lost my job on January 1, 2021 as my beloved company closed its doors. I was working it pretty FT and was a top 1% performer in the company so I felt empty. It made me realize how much I put my identity and worth in my business.

I didn't want to just dive into anything else right away and had my husband's full support to find the right thing for me. I should've kept track of all the opportunities that have come my way the past 2 years, some I've tried and a majority I've turned down. I did, however, dive into motherhood and managing the household... which I was killin'.

But still, I had many moments of just feeling lost. Moments of feeling guilty because I was no longer providing financially for my family. Moments where I wondered why that door had closed and if God would open another one for me. And yet, I also knew He would. I knew deep in my soul that He had me exactly where I was meant to be. So yes, I felt both lost AND content.

Now let me tell you that I NEVER saw myself going back to work. I wanted to be a WAHM, running my own business, maybe doing some VA work on the side, or some content creation... all of which I'm doing. But a few weeks ago, a woman from my church sought me out and asked if I'd be interested in the PT position that was open at the church. My initial reaction was NO. And then I read the job description.

PT Communications/Ministry Volunteer... running the website, social media, emails, mailings and working with people? Well maybe I'm interested.

I'm a simple week into the job at this point, but I am so grateful for the past 2 years and God leading me to this place. Working partly from home and partly from the office. 

The first 2 days, I felt like a chicken with my head cut off. Let's not forget all the extra volunteer things I've taken on the past 2 years + momming and all the things. 

I believe I'll fall into a routine. I believe that God has me in this place to serve my church and take a break from being a mom and household manager.

These are things that helped me make it through that season of my life:

  • Lean on your friends that will pray for you.
  • Spend time with Him.
  • Cry if you need to. 
  • Listen to Christian music... You Say by Lauren Daigle, Haven't Seen It Yet by Danny Gokey, Oh My Soul by Casting Crowns.
  • Journal.
  • Use gratitude - it reminds you that God never leaves.

God knows, my friend. If you feel lost, God knows what is in Your future. Trust in Him.